Thursday, December 16, 2010

How the Grinch stole my Christmas

Heh-heh. I'm feeling a little evil this morning so bear with me ok?

T'was the school morning before Christmas and all I could hear:
"Just get in the car, I gotta to go to work and be of good cheer!"
(How a shrew can be of good cheer is beyond me.)

The twinkling of lights on a cold winter's night--
are ALWAYS interrupted by the screams of a fight.

When out on the lawn one day I heard such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear?
A mean old glare that was definitely NOT dear!

I asked the old hag "What was the matter?"
She threw up her hands and started the chatter.
"This is this and that is that--"
"I will always hate you and that is a fact."

I looked and searched in the shrew's eyes and asked--
"Why all the rudeness and lack of Christmas cheer?"
She just looked at me and cackled like the sound of a witch--
'Cause we all know that I live next door to a big nasty b@#ch.
(LOL. I told you I'm feeling evil. heh-heh.)
"I don't know you and you don't know me--"
"But it appears that you have lost the key."

The shrew looked up at me all puzzled inside.
"The key to happiness," I replied.
"Is all you need before you die."
The shrew just yelled her squealy screams and said,
"Where oh where can I find this gladness you speak of?"

"It's in the laughter of your children."
It's in the tears of a stranger."
"It's in the sound of the rain on a cold winter's night."
"It's being grateful for what you have and NOT for what the Jones's have."
"It's in this whole wide world we live in."
"Life is beautiful, and I my friend are glad I live in this beautiful, beautiful world."

"Hogwash." she says, and walks off.
It just goes to show you--
Sometimes you can NEVER change the path of a shrew.

(This silly poem was thought up by me when I walked my second daughter to the bus stop. It may or may not have been actually depicted actual events. Any similarity is purely coincidental.)


singedwingangel said...

Roflmbo killher with kindness sweetie I promise it works.. and I know the shrew to which you refer lol

T said...

a shrew is a hard creature to win over than a Grinch. perhaps you just need to let your cat take a dump in her two sizes too small shoes?

Babes Mami said...

Hahah I love it!

Moooooog35 said...

Happiness is in the tears of a stranger?

What do you hold them down with while you're collecting them? Cinder blocks? Or do you just kneel on their elbows?

This is stuff you probably should have added to the poem. Just sayin.

One Cluttered Brain said...

oh Moog, you crack me up. you really do. I was in an odd mood that is all.

Wendy said...

Sounds like you had a morning and half. Crazy stuff. But I love the wordage!! Hope it gets better for you. (Your family should read the article in this months Friend. The Good Neighbor one, it's in the front of the magazine) I read it the first time, and almost thought of your particular situation.

Debbie said...

O my gosh, I laughed so hard I snorted. You are SO funny. I love you girl, keep your chin up. And may I also comment on your use of prose. It was quite delightful :)

Debbie said...

O my gosh, I laughed so hard I snorted. You are SO funny. I love you girl, keep your chin up. And may I also comment on your use of prose. It was quite delightful :)

Lisa said...

Poor snotten, stupid shrew. Did I say snotten and stupid? That was rude of me. i should delete that....

Anyway, good luck with her, and I'm glad you can vent in rhyme. Means you've got it all together, even when you're facing opposition in the form of a grinch.

Merry Christmas!

Cheeseboy said...

The more I learn about your neighbor, the more I wish she was mine. I'd have a neverending supply of blog fodder. But I am sure I am actually better off.

This was very clever and well done. bravo.

Related Posts with Thumbnails